Become a Pro at Talking Dirty & Sounding Sexy

Choose a Girl

Pardon our French, but there really are fewer dirty talk phrases hotter than this one during sex. “Let your partner know the intensity of your pleasure with this wonderful little word. “Talking dirty is another way to arouse yourself and your partner.

You Gotta Practice

These factors are individualist talk and mutualistic talk. Individual talk is a higher order of erotic talk themes that correlate more so to individual satisfaction, while mutualistic talk correlates more so to mutual satisfaction, namely a sexual partner’s satisfaction. Now that you’ve got a good sense of what you can try, it’s time to test drive a few lines. Try taking note of at least one phrase from each section that feels fun for you, so that you have something spicy to pepper in at every step along the way. So, it’s often hard to switch gears into the sexual space. In short time, we stop talking about sex as much, or expressing our sexual thoughts.

Being Thoughtful When Talking Dirty

• Kris Gowen, PhD, a sexuality educator, researcher, and co-host of the podcast B4U Swipe.
• Another way of getting creative with dirty talk is describing your feelings during sex.
• All we have to do is stay grounded in the needs that make us human.
• Therefore, it’s super beneficial to carve out some non-sexual time to engage in an open conversation about boundaries, desires, and limits.
• Test the waters.If you aren’t sure that your partner will be into dirty talk, try it once or twice casually during sex to see what their response is—you might be surprised.

In other words, don’t feel the need to tell your partner something ~spicy~ while going at it if it doesn’t feel natural to you in the heat of the moment. Getting started with dirty talk via text can feel a lot less intimidating than talking dirty IRL, so practicing with some sexting is a great way to get comfortable with the idea. Having the added distance of a screen can also make it easier to speak up if your partner says something that doesn’t work for you. If you aren’t sure that your partner will be into dirty talk, try it once or twice casually during sex to see what their response is—you might be surprised. There are plenty of lists online there with sexy phrases you can use during sex to up the dirty talk. Some folks love dirty talk, and it makes them crazily horny.

• If your girlfriend or wife tells you that she likes the idea of talking dirty, that’s great news!
• Thirty-five percent of the respondents said that they had drawn on dirty talk from a previous sexual encounter.
• It’s easy to think that dirty talk is all vulgarities, but it can be far from that—the “dirt” is in the details.
• —an intersectional publication based on Medium—who writes along the intersections of race, sexuality, mental health, and politics.

Another option is practicing dirty talk solo—to yourself or an imagined lover, even—while you’re masturbating. Nicoletta Heidgger, a sexologist and host of the Sluts and Scholars podcast, also suggests reading or listening to erotica to get some inspiration. And when in doubt, you can always just narrate what’s happening in the moment, Cordingley says. Cordingley suggests just practicing some racy words or phrases out loud when you’re alone so you can get more comfortable hearing yourself say them.

“I want to reassure people that you don’t need to be a master, and that feeling silly in sex or laughing is sometimes all part of the fun,” says Lovegood. This type of shared experience sex talk has been shown to increase sexual and relationship satisfaction. Additionally, women who engage in this mutualistic sex talk even report higher sexual functioning. If your girlfriend or wife tells you that she likes the idea of talking dirty, that’s great news! After all, now you can actually blurt out those perverse thoughts that run through your mind when you’re banging your woman, and turn her on at the same time. Tease your boo with naughty thoughts and even discuss playful punishments.

Plus, as both Manta and Dr. Jansen mentioned, you can always find your way into sex forums and dating apps. Pay attention to both verbal (i.e., she starts talking dirty to you back) and non-verbal cues. “Positive signs include heavy breathing, and if your partner is leaning into you,” Stubbs says. If your partner starts to tense up, or looks a little scared, then it might be a good idea to stop and ask how they’re doing. “If things are really going in the right direction, a two-second break to check in isn’t going to ruin that momentum,” Stubbs says. Here are some of the benefits of talking dirty as well as sex therapist-approved tips for how to get started.

To take the guesswork out of what turns your partner on, Dr. Jansen says coupled clients can create “Yes, No, Maybe” fantasy lists as an exercise. This also helps to clear up whether what you both do or say going forward has enthusiastic consent. Rachel Wright, MA, LMFT, recommends using your senses to describe what you’re feeling, seeing, smelling, tasting, and hearing.